OUT OF DARKNESS

co-written with Kristi Bucher

Every once in a while in life, you meet a soul unlike any other. One that makes you wish you where a little more like them, and that somehow after spending time with them, a bit of their sweetness will rub off on you. Manita is one of those people. She possesses the kindest and most gentle soul with a heart so unbelievably in love with Jesus. 

As a child growing up in the village of Cabaret, Manita would dance at voodoo ceremonies. She worshipped Satan, the same as the rest of her family. She didn’t know any differently.

Then Manita started attending Grace Emmanuel School in 2005. Her family had heard of a new, free school for their daughter to attend and enrolled Manita in 2nd grade at the age of 10.

At Grace Emmanuel School Manita heard about Jesus. She remembers a man named Manela who would lead devotions every day for all the students. It was during one of these devotions in 2009 that she made the decision to follow Christ. She had seen death in voodoo, but in Jesus, she found life. She says it was by the grace of God that she became a Christian.

A few years ago, Manita’s family moved to Bon Repos and she almost had to quit school because of the daily cost to travel the distance. Staff encouraged her to continue and assured her God would provide, and He has proved faithful.

Now 21 years old and in 12th grade, Manita expects to graduate next year (high school in Haiti goes through 13th grade) and would like to study to become a pediatrician. She is a quiet leader of the whole student body. She sings beautifully, stays out of trouble, and is always near the top of her class.

I ask Manita if I can visit one day as we are driving to Bon Repos from school. She leads me to the two-room wooden structure where she lives with her mom, uncle, his wife, and their three children. She shares a full-size bed with her mother in a small room also shared with her three young cousins.

Her mom is not home, and Manita tells me she will be at the local market selling beans until dusk.

Seven years after putting her faith in Christ, Manita is the only Christian in her family. Her mom still believes in Satan and practices voodoo.

I ask her if this is hard. “I used to talk to my family about Jesus and tell them that He is coming back, but they won’t believe. I tell my mom that Jesus loves her and wants to give her life. My mom says she wants to believe in Jesus, but she still hasn’t.”

Curious about her father, I ask about him. She says he used to practice voodoo as well. In 2006, he became very ill and bed-ridden. Because of this, neighbors came to visit and shared the gospel with him. Before dying in 2007, he gave his life to Christ.

I leave her home encouraged. Manita’s story is one that speaks of bright light in the midst of darkness. What Satan meant for destruction, Jesus meant for life! What a wonderful reminder that the enemy has no dominion over who belongs to Him.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9). 

A month or so after I visit her home, I receive word that her mother is ill and needs to go to the doctor. She is in a lot of pain and cannot walk because of her inability to move her left arm or leg. I feel in my heart that I am called to lend a helping hand. After a few trips to a nearby clinic, we find out she is suffering from paralysis due to hypertension. Her elderly body is literally wasting away. 

Myself and many others who know the situation continue to pray with expectation. We are confident that God, according to his perfect will, has the ability to heal both physically and spiritually. 

A few weeks go by and I receive the greatest news of all. After spending a lifetime practicing voodoo and worshiping Satan, her mother has finally given her life to Christ! She may not be healed physically, but she has been saved from the dominion of darkness! As Manita put it, "all the glory belongs to God!"

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16)

IT IS FATE

I pull out of the school yard, unsure of who I was going to visit. I knew I wanted to visit students, I just didn’t know who. To give myself time to think, I decide to get a fresco (a frozen Haitian treat) from the market nearby. As Sonson and I pull up to park, three students appear: Loudemia, Dana Leïda, and little Fritznerline. It is fate; I am supposed to visit them. 

As we head through the market to get fresco, they two older girls tell me their mother works in the market and we walk over to pay her a visit. I asked if we could visit their home, she says yes. But when they tell us where they live, Sonson is unsure if we should go. They live in an unsafe area in the midst of gang activity, and apparently it is not the best place to visit. However, I can't imagine why God would prohibit me from visiting these precious students just because of my potential physical danger. Feeling lead by the Spirit, we decide to go anyways. And knowing this may not be the safest feat, I pray. I let God know that I trust him, I trust that He is with us, and ask that He would protect us. I also send a quick message to a friend for some extra backup. 

We pull up to their street and I get out of the car. Loudemia grabs ahold of my arm with a protective grip. Although she is only 13, she possesses strength and confidence as she leads me through the narrow ally ways. I feel safe. 

Soon after, we arrive to their dark, hot, two-room home. Their mother had walked from her work at the market to meet us there. We sit and chat awhile with the her and the three girls. We find out Loudemia’s father had passed away and Dana Leïda’s father is not present. Fritnerline is her granddaughter, and lives in the home along with her young mother. Her father is present, but does not live in the home. She tells us that that she, all 9 children, and one grandchild live together in this home. I do the math and figure out that is a total of 11 people in this small house with 4 beds to share. 

I ask who provides for this family and she replies, "me and God."

While sitting in their presence in there home, I sense joy. I am amazed that in the midst of poverty, physical danger, and sorrow, this family still chooses to trust God - our provider, protector, and comforter. This is a true testimony that our circumstances do not have to determine our joy, God does. 

BEYOND THE MOUNTAINS

Not long ago, I met an elderly and brittle woman who is taking care of her grandson, one of our students. A woman who has probably spent 60+ years in survival mode, working hard just to eat for herself let alone provide for her family. Statistically speaking, it is likely she has been cheated on and abused physically by a man. Potentially by more than one, and more than once. She may have never finished school, and she has probably never experienced a hot shower or the luxury of running water in her home. She probably did not get her license and a working vehicle when she was 16 years old. Actually, she probably has not ever owned either of those things. Like many in the village, she may not even be able to sign her own name. There is a high probability she does not know her birthdate for sure. 

There's a Haitian proverb that says, "beyond the mountains, more mountains." No matter how many mountains climbed & overcome, there is always another. And on top of that (or rather underneath), with mountains come many valleys. 

The things one individual here in Haiti might go through in a lifetime is incredible, and far outweighs most. I cannot imagine, and will probably never be able to relate. I can not beat myself up about this, for I did not chose to be born and raised in the land of opportunities. However, I can chose to be thankful. I can live without the feeling of entitlement. I can extend compassion and love. I can go outside of the comfy, safe walls of my life to follow Jesus.  

MEET LELE

Meet Lele. He is one of the goofiest and fun-loving kiddos around. The combination of his smile and laugh has the power to turn anyone's bad day into a good one. Although he's a big boy who just graduated kindergarten and is in 1st grade now, he still showers me with hugs and lets me kiss him.

Lele humbles me. He, along with his many siblings, live in a poverty-stricken village with their mother. Although they have few material possessions, some of their most basic needs are not met, and they go without many meals,  you'd never know it.  His mother can always be found in the front row at church praising Jesus with all her might, while Lele and his siblings can be found with the biggest of smiles, having fun, and causing a ruckus! Why, a mere outsider might ask? I'm convinced it's Jesus.

HERE GOES NOTHING

On a rather cloudy and humid afternoon, we arrived in a village called Source Matelas to visit some of our students from Grace Emmanuel School. First stop: Julie's house. I remembered visiting her before, but I could not remember her story. After exchanging names and how are you's, she disappeared into her home. She quickly returned, waving at us to come in.

Upon entry, I noticed the dreadful heat and poor living conditions. To my right was a pregnant woman lying on the floor, three children sitting next to her, and another young woman sitting in a chair with a baby in her lap. I was told that over 11 people live here. In my opinion, this was not a pleasant place to live; but by looking at Julie's smile, you would never know the difference. "Do you live with your Mom?" I asked. She replied with a quick, "No, she is dead." I asked about her dad to find out that he lives elsewhere with her step mom, and that she lives with her sisters and cousins.

My heart sank. I do not like hearing stories and witnessing situations like this; but this is why I am here. This is my job. I am excited to go deeper with the students at Grace Emmanuel School as I visit their homes and get to know their stories. I get to come alongside them and their families in attempt to love them like Jesus would.

This, although beyond my qualifications, is what God has called me to do...to take a risk by being Jesus in Haiti to those who are less fortunate, vulnerable, and broken. I am sure it will be difficult and full of heartbreak, but I am eager for what is in store as I journey onward. So, here goes nothing! Or perhaps, something.

"...not because I was qualified, but because I had showed up." 

– Conor Grenan, Little Princes

IT COMES FROM JESUS

My heart began to break as I visited some of our students from a village called Minoterie. I sat on wooden beds with no comfort. I stood in homes where it was hard to breathe due to the unrelenting heat. I had passed by this village many times and had heard of its poverty, but had never seen the depths of it firsthand. Well, until now. 

As we pulled up to the village, we turned down a dusty road towards his home. Together we got out of the truck, and with a brilliant smile, he lead me inside. I could not help but notice the effort put into the decorations on the walls. This part of the house was made of cement and seemed like a stable structure. He told me he lives with his mother and 4 siblings, his dad lives elsewhere.

I asked where he slept, and he pointed to the other room. We walked in and I immediately noticed the temperature difference. It was hot. I saw two beds and a make-shift kitchen. The walls were made of tarps with a tin roof. I asked which bed he slept on, and he pointed to the one on the left. I sat down and immediately felt the discomfort of what he sleeps on night after night. I asked if he sleeps well on this wooden bed, and he replied with no. “I never would have known due to your big smile…it must be because of Jesus,” I said; and he replied with a smile, a head nod, and a yes.

This young soul, in that moment, captured my heart more than he already had. Ever since I met him, I was captivated by his big, beautiful smile. It is dangerously contagious; and even on the worst of days, you cannot help but smile in return. He radiates incredible amounts of joy, and I am positive it comes from Jesus. 

THE VILLAGE

Going to the village is one of my favorite things to do. I love spending time with people. There's something about being invited into someone's home, being offered to sit in one of their only chairs, getting to know them, and praying with them. But of course, I love being amongst the children most. The contrast of their beautiful dark skin and bright white smiles makes my heart go pitter patter. Here are a couple snapshots from one of my many visits to Source Matelas.